Paul Beaudry’s Intentional Collaboration: ‘Be open to what somebody else’s experience is’

Musician and educator Paul Beaudry has developed a system that fosters communication, teamwork, and understanding, and applies easily to both personal and professional relationships. Titled “Intentional Collaboration,” the endeavor is a passion project for Beaudry– who has traveled the world as a performer and cultural ambassador for the U.S. State Department. Intentional Collaboration includes workshops, consultations, individualized coaching sessions, and more to unlock stronger connections between each other and within one’s self. In his own words, Beaudry describes “The Intentional Collaboration Way” and how it can benefit a range of human interactions. Learn more at IntentionalCollaboration.com.

Intentional Collaboration is something that I started when I started realizing that many communities get in their own way. When people express themselves, when they express their opinions, sometimes you don’t really know where the other person is coming from. I’ve noticed that many organizations– whether it’s a community organization, or a business, or even a family– can sometimes break down based on not really understanding where the other person is coming from. I started finding that people biologically do think differently from each other.

Genetically, all races throughout the earth are basically 99.9 percent the same. But in terms of thinking, we’re actually much further apart in terms of how your brain will go in certain directions to seek solutions. I was doing some community development work in Central America, and I started realizing that many of the ethnic populations did not trust each other based on many of the things that had happened in their history. I wanted to do something to try to bring those populations together, and I began to realize that this is a very common problem. You don’t really have to go to Central America for that. You can do it right in your community, and in your family, and the relationship that you’re in right now. “How can I begin to understand the other person that I’m talking to, or the other people that I’m dealing with?” There is actually a method of being able to do that.

I started Intentional Collaboration about four years ago, originally as something that I would do with the U.S. State Department, and then I just wanted to take it in my own direction. As a matter of fact, I started learning many things about myself as I realized that I would think a certain way. I would communicate a certain way, and many of the miscommunications I had with people around me were from myself being a little bit, I guess, expecting other people to think in the same way. The people who can figure out [others] that have different types of thinking are going to succeed on a much higher level. 

Now in business, that’s going to be companies like Apple, companies like Google, the high-tech companies that actually look for diversity. They look for people of different backgrounds. They want different input. The customers’ tastes are going to change pretty rapidly. Instead of telling your company or telling the rest of the world what they want, it’s more like listening. “What do you need? What do you want?” Then trying to provide the correct technology to match that. I use technology as an example because my first degree was in computer science and I did work for Apple and IBM in my early career before I went into music full-time. I saw hands-on what can happen when you listen to the people around you and you create something that people want. You have success– and the companies that don’t do that, they try to dictate what you’re looking for. They eventually go bankrupt. 

You can look at that same example in a relationship between two people. If you really try to reach out to the other person and try to figure out what they want and you’re open to it, your chances of that relationship being successful is going to be much higher than if one is trying to dictate to the other what needs to happen. Eventually that’s going to not work out.

Even in the communities that we live in– we can break down the barriers with the people that we’re living with and ask that question: “What do you need? How can we accommodate?” When there’s an openness on both sides, then your chances of living in a successful community, having a successful family, having a successful business is definitely much higher. Part of my system is to teach different ways of thinking. When you can follow how somebody is thinking, you’re going to be a lot more open to listening to them and try to incorporate their solutions into what you’re trying to do, so that you can come together for something that works for both. 

Right now, [Intentional Collaboration is focused] on training middle management, and technology. The reason why I decided to go for that was a lot of times, people are very talented and are very skilled in a certain area. The companies that they work for, they’ll just get thrown into a management position, but they might not have any management skills. The first thing that they need to deal with is how to get these different personalities that they’re working with to work together as a team, as a unit, so that you can achieve group goals. When you’ve only been working on yourself as an individual, you haven’t really had to do that to succeed, but as a manager, you now have to have everyone bring their best to the table and then make it all work somehow. 

The thing is, it’s actually the company’s fault for putting them in this position without giving them the proper training. I decided to focus on training middle managers to be able to keep their positions. As that begins to expand, I’m going to move more into other types of relationships like personal relationships and community relationships and whatnot, but Intentional Collaboration did start as a community development system to bring in different ethnic communities to be able to work together. 

Like the Five Love Languages, it’s the same kind of situation where you can use that in many different types of relationships. When you realize that somebody’s speaking a different Love Language than you, then you’re a lot more open and you’re not expecting the other person to be the same as you because they’re not. Once you open yourself to experiencing or being open to what somebody else’s experience is, then the first thing that happens is you drop your expectations, and you begin to start receiving them for the first time.

From there, you really have something to build on because there’s more trust. You’re not expecting them to do something that they’re not naturally going to do. I think that’s the thing that happens in many relationships… you’re expecting people to do stuff that they can’t do or they’re not naturally inclined to do. You’re expecting the duck to do things that the eagle is going to do. It’s like, “It’s a duck, it doesn’t do that. Ducks do other things. Why don’t you let the duck do the duck things, and the eagle do the eagle things?” Then, everything will work out.